Have you ever seen that episode of Friends were Ross goes to get a spray tan and accidentally sprays only one side numerous times. He looked half Albino, half Oompa Loompa.
Last weekend, I endeavored in my first spray tan. To say I was nervous was an understatement, but that’s what happens when you’re in a fall wedding wearing a pale yellow dress.
The tan was necessary.
I visited Club Sun on Mary Esther Cut-Off and after speaking with the front desk was told to sit and watch the informational film on what I was getting myself into.
Right before my eyes the screen showed a very thin woman who was a very unnatural color of brownish-orange going into the booth and demonstrating what I should do. It was a lot to keep track of and I found myself wishing I had my reporter’s notebook.
Alas, I didn’t and when the film ended I was in a panic mode while the front desk woman gave me more tips on how to get the best tan ever.
In the private room sat a rack with towels, some tissues to go up my nose (huh?), and a cap for my hair. Beside that was the enormous device that held the tan I so desperately needed and on the wall was a list of all the various poses I was supposed to do.
Now, if you’ve ever had a spray tan or done one at home you know the key to not looking ridiculous is in the preparation. You must lotion up your hands, toes, elbows, the backs of your knees and any other place where the spray could gather and give you an “unnatural look.”
I did none of that.
I got into the booth and while I was being sprayed a second time it donned on me. Everything the video and the front desk woman had told me had completely left me until it was far too late.
Not only that, but the video with the skinny woman showed two sprays and then a blow dryer comes to dry you off. You can imagine my surprise with the machine told me to, “Prepare for spray No. 3.”
I turned towards the front in shock and confusion taking the stance of a crossing guard. So when the woman said to prepare for No. 4 I just turned my body the opposite way in the vein hope of not looking like a complete fool when the tan dried.
As soon as I was out, I hit up the lotion and rubbed my hands raw praying that my mistake would not end in me being the laughing stock of every photo I was in with the wedding party.
I turned speckled throughout the day and became more hysterical until my roommate assured me that it was just for the first day. I got in the shower that night to see brown water and when I got out I, thankfully, was just a slightly tanner version of myself.
And with this, I want to wish Ryan and Leah the happiest marriage ever. Love you guys!
